By: Christina Lewis
Since 2020, gender identity has become an increasingly complex and often debated topic. Amidst discussions about trans rights and legislation surrounding trans athletes, Rachel Hulstein-Lowe believes it is both a challenging and important time to be a gender diversity expert.
She explains that it’s a difficult time due to growing concerns among service providers about legislation affecting trans identities. However, she also notes the urgency of the work in this field, as it offers hope and creates a sense of community for many trans individuals who fear being marginalized.
Rachel (she/her) is a gender diversity expert, parent coach, writer, and speaker. She assists gender-diverse youth in exploring and expressing their authentic selves and helps moms and dads shift their parenting approach from uncertainty to empowerment. With over 20 years of experience as a licensed therapist, she integrates clinical expertise and personal insights to foster understanding and create positive change.
Rachel shares, “Right now, many parents feel uncertain about how to support their gender-diverse children in a rapidly changing environment. Trans kids often feel pressured to hide their identities and face challenges about their future. Even with these challenges, transformation is possible. I’ve seen parents move from fear to advocacy, and children grow from being withdrawn to feeling safe and comfortable enough to express themselves.”
She continues, “This work is not only necessary, but it has the potential to be life-changing. It is more critical now than ever to understand that if you’re a parent who feels uncertain or a young person unsure of where to turn, you don’t need to navigate this alone.”
After nearly a decade of supporting the trans community, Rachel’s personal experience deepened when her eldest child came out as nonbinary in 2022. She deeply understands the confusion and emotional challenges many parents face when navigating their children’s gender journey. Yet, she also recognizes the joy of embracing a child’s authenticity.
In 2024, Rachel interviewed parents across the U.S. about their experiences raising a trans child. These conversations, combined with her knowledge in attachment theory, positive discipline, and child development, helped shape her approach to support, leading to the development of the A.F.F.I.R.M. Program, which launched in January 2025.
Parents have shared positive feedback about her clinical approach. One parent mentioned, “Rachel has been a supportive therapist for my transgender son, who usually struggles with expressing his feelings. One of the most effective methods she introduced was allowing him to communicate through writing or texting during sessions, which made him feel more comfortable. This innovative approach helped him open up and share more.”
The A.F.F.I.R.M. Program was created to meet the growing demand for clinically informed, gender-affirming support for parents of trans children. Rachel designed the program to offer a more personalized coaching experience, helping parents wherever they are in their journey to support their child’s gender identity.
In Rachel’s program, parents meet with her one-on-one over six months to receive personalized guidance to understand gender diversity, address challenges like transphobia, and learn to become strong advocates for their child’s well-being.
The support Rachel provides with A.F.F.I.R.M. includes these 6 key steps:
- Awaken understanding of how a child’s gender journey impacts both them and the parent.
- Familiarity with the history of gender diversity and their position on the gender spectrum.
- Foster unconditional affirmation of a child’s identity with communication and problem-solving strategies.
- Investigate preconceived expectations and parental grief about the changes to those ideas.
- Help parents relate to how they and their children encounter transphobia so that they can be their child’s ally.
- Mediate transphobia by exploring state-specific laws and available resources for families at the local, regional, and national levels.
Rachel emphasizes, “This is not a one-size-fits-all program; it’s an individualized, VIP experience tailored to parents raising gender-diverse kids in a complex and evolving political and social environment.”
The ongoing challenges faced by the trans community increase the importance of Rachel’s work. She says, “The support my program offers is designed to help parents feel more grounded, connected to their children, and empowered to navigate raising a child in a world that sometimes challenges their very right to exist. I’m leveraging my personal experiences and clinical expertise to support parents and caregivers. I want to help them thrive versus merely manage during this difficult time.”
As a social worker committed to social justice, Rachel recognizes her privileges as a white, cisgender, heterosexual woman living in a relatively progressive state. She believes she can use those privileges to elevate the stories and needs of those more marginalized by current social and political climates.
In addition to her A.F.F.I.R.M. Program, Rachel continues her practice in the Boston area, supporting families both locally and nationally. She is a regular guest on podcasts, including The Queer Family Podcast and Mastering Change, and contributes articles such as those featured in The Kansas City Star.
Rachel concludes, “I am actively working to expand clinical support for these families by teaching my model of care to other behavioral health providers at professional conferences and in various speaking engagements. My long-term goal is to help increase acceptance of gender diversity and combat transphobic rhetoric and legislation so that all children can live their most confident, authentic lives.”
To learn more about Rachel Hulstein-Lowe’s work, visit www.rachelhlowe.com or follow her on LinkedIn.
You can also attend the upcoming AFFIRM Your Parenting event on Monday, May 19th at 8 pm ET to experience a sample of her curriculum in a live Zoom group format. Please RSVP on her website.
Here is the link where the above testimonial lives: www.rachelhlowe.com
Published by Jeremy S.
