If you find dating difficult, you’ve probably looked up some quick fixes to have more success with women. It’s natural for men to put their inadequacies down to themselves and be self-centered in resolving them. It’s ego, but not in the usual sense. You’re just being too hard on yourself to see the bigger picture.
But you can’t prosper with just your perspective in a world as broad as dating. Likewise, seeking advice through your phone screen—whether chat-up lines or a low-value online dating coach—won’t help you with a woman in the heat of the moment. You need someone like Cam from The Grand Male, who believes in-person mentorship is the most effective way to elevate your dating life.
“You have to find a dating coach that will dig deeper into your mind,” Cam explains. “They will find out why you’re unsatisfied with where you are and why you aren’t with your dream woman. The right dating coach understands the ‘why.’”
Digital or direct?
Don’t get him wrong—online coaching does have its benefits. Having on-demand access to advice is great in the comfort of your home. But a professional coach can only truly understand you if they see you out in the world, holding you accountable when that chat doesn’t go to plan.
The Grand Male founder once had a client that had only received online coaching. But when Cam invited him to a pool party, he found his client could not create intimacy with the women he spoke to. Not only that, he froze up and struggled to maintain a conversation altogether.
Without real-life interaction with a professional, you might never know whether you’re giving off negative energy to women. Immediate, in-person feedback from a dating coach can help you identify where you’re going wrong and help you be more present in conversations. On a night out with clients, Cam has three steps to set you up for a successful evening on the dating scene.
The Circles of Communication
The first ‘Circle of Communication’ begins when you enter the venue, whether a lounge, club, or bar. Interact with the staff for five-to-ten minutes to warm yourself up, boost confidence and enter your flow state.
In the second circle, start conversations with the people on the dancefloor, getting to understand them on a deeper level as you talk. You could even share a relevant personal anecdote to form better connections and reduce nervousness.
Now comes the moment your in-person coaching has been building to: the third circle. By this point, you’ve probably found the perfect woman in the room with whom you’re interested in forming a connection. Apply what you’ve practiced in the first two circles to create the foundations of a meaningful relationship that could last long into the future.
This third circle of communication is not just about engaging a woman in conversation but diving deeper to discover whether you are compatible. The rapport, practice, and confidence you’ve built with the venue staff and the general public will empower you to put your values and ideals first. This way, you can earn respect from the second you start speaking. And, if there’s a spark between you, set it alight
Meant to be or absentee?
But don’t get ahead of yourself. Just because you’re confident in conversation doesn’t mean it’s time to tie the knot. In in-person coaching sessions, Cam advises his clients to take note of the ‘Five Pillars of Compatibility.’ These tell you whether a woman is worth spending all night with or whether it’s time to move on.
“The first pillar is respect,” Cam says. “While communicating with a woman you find interesting, does she respect your time and presence? Is she being polite and kind to you throughout the conversation?”
“The next one is sense of humor,” he adds. “Does she find your humor interesting, funny, and engaging?”
Respect and humor directly relate to the third pillar, responsiveness. It establishes whether a woman is actively participating in a conversation with you or whether she’s merely entertaining you while distracted by other things.
Now it’s time to turn up the heat. The fourth pillar, seduction, ensures flirting isn’t awkward or one-sided but seamless. Finally, it’s the pillar that everything turns on (pardon the pun): attraction.
Attraction is the gel that blends you two together, the spark that could stoke the flames of a meaningful relationship. Cam’s aim as a coach is to guide you to a position where you can find attraction anywhere, regardless of social hurdles. The final pillar is the end of his role as a dating coach and the beginning of yours as one half of a compatible couple.
And the road ahead, whether that be a date, a relationship, or even a marriage, could all depend on whether you enlist the help of an in-person dating coach. You might think your low confidence is insurmountable, or you’ve just had bad luck. But you might never understand what’s holding you back without someone like Grand Cam standing beside you.